A Question of NOW

Dear Eckhart,

If you only live in the now, what would stop someone who is in a relationship or marriage from resisting the temptation to have sex with anyone who is attractive but who is not his/her partner? After all, if you are in the now and see someone attractive, you want to have sex with them now.

From,
Anonymous


Answer: Does living in the Now mean giving in to every impulse that arises? Then all those people who chase one sexual partner after another must be enlightened.

As long as you want something from another (such as sex), are you present? Or are you seeking to reach some point in the future that promises fulfillment? (And thereby making the present moment as well as the other person into a means to an end.) All wanting implies that the future is more desirable than the present, does it not?

It is inevitable that physical attraction towards another person will sometimes occur. That's no more than part of nature. When you identify with that impulse, it becomes "you" and turns into wanting. The other person then becomes a means to an end the end being sex, the attainment of the object of your desire.
When you are present, you can observe the attraction or the sexual feeling within yourself, recognize it as natural, accept it, even enjoy it without needing to act it out. After all, it may be totally inappropriate to do so within the totality of the situation. When you recognize yourself as the space of consciousness in which the impulse arises, you don't become the impulse; you don't lose yourself in it. Being present is being the space, rather than what happens.


Copied and pasted from: Eckhart Tolle Newsletter: "Dear Eckhart": Questions answered by Eckhart

On the road, in a traffic jam, got to get where ever you gotta go??

Cars on all sides of you?
Go into the NOW from there.

Start to look for the pattern made by the hoods of the cars all around you.
Listen to the sound each one makes as they pass you or you them. Some tick. Some swoosh. Some clang. Just listen.

Listen to the sounds beyond the stopped cars.
Listen to the breeze that flows thru the tree along the side of the road, while you are at the stop light.
If it's snowing, listen as the flakes hit your cars parts.
If it's raining, listen to the sound of each rain drop on the metal.

Folks trying to get in front of you, without using their turn signals?
Go into the NOW from there.

Watch the space between your car and the one in front of you, look at its shape, and watch that shape change as the new car moves into it.

Folks weaving in and out of lanes?
Go into the NOW from there.

Imagine what kind of line the car would make, if there was paint of a bright color, coming out of the exhaust pipe. Does the exhaust turn into a spray gun or watercolor flow? What does it create for you today?

You gotta get where you are going?
Go into the NOW from there.

Stay where you are. You are in a miracle object, a metal object designed by truly creative souls and it is carrying you to your destination. With a couple of small movements, and a sense that you trusted yourself, you are moving across man made streets, passing trees hundreds of years old. Both human creativity, and nature to keep you company along your way. Be aware of the movement your car is making. The sounds it makes.
Stay in the car, stay present, feel the connection to all that is around you.

You are in YOUR NOW.
And your days journey will be as it is supposed to be.

Pieces of Parts